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KAKI DULU BARU MULUT - SD Muhammadiyah Inovatif Mertoyudan

KAKI DULU, BARU MULUT

 

Duluu waktu belum tahu ilmunya, saya pernah memanggil Qairina yang sedang bermain di rumah tetangga depan rumah dengan cara berteriak-teriak dari pintu depan. Beberapa kali saya memanggilnya dia gak pulang-pulang. Bahkan menjawab panggilan saya pun tidak.

 

Mendengar dan melihat apa yang saya lakukan, suami saya menegur.

 

“Bukan begitu cara memanggil anak biar pulang dari bermainnya, mamah.”

 

Lalu dia menyontohkan sendiri bagaimana seharusnya saya memanggil Qairina yang lagi asyik main dan membujuknya pulang untuk makan siang.

 

Yang suami saya lakukan adalah keluar rumah menuju ke rumah tetangga. Lalu dia mengobrol dan ikut bermain sejenak dengan anak-anak. Setelah dirasa cukup, dia mengajak Qairina pulang dengan ajakan yang menyenangkan sambil berpamitan pada teman-teman mainnya. Ajaib! Qairina nurut diajak pulang.

 

Setelah Qairina makan dan lalu tidur, suami menasihati. Katanya memanggil dengan cara berteriak-teriak itu tidak sopan, juga tidak efektif.

 

Belakangan saya baru menyadari bahwa di keluarga suami memang hampir tidak pernah terdengar orangtua berteriak ke anaknya. Kalo mau memanggil, mamah mertua selalu mendekati anaknya dulu, baru mengutarakan apa yang ingin dikatakan.

 

Saya juga baru menyadari cara suami berkomunikasi. Dia pun hampir tidak pernah berteriak saat memanggil saya. Dia selalu menghampiri saya dulu, baru meminta tolong atau mengatakan sesuatu.

 

Di buku parenting Abah Ihsan, Yuk Jadi Orangtua Shalih sebelum meminta anak Shalih, di bagian komunikasi efektif dengan anak, saya menemukan sedikit bahasan ini.

 

Kaki dulu, baru mulut.

 

Wah apa ini? Saya penasaran apa maksudnya.

 

Di buku itu, Abah Ihsan mengajarkan alih-alih berteriak,

 

“Doniiii udah dong mainnya. Sekarang waktunya makan.”

 

Atau menyuruh-nyuruh, memerintah seenaknya, beliau menyarankan orang tua untuk BERJALAN mendekati anaknya dulu, bergabung bermain bersamanya sebentar, lalu setelah ada kesempatan baru MENGUTARAKAN keinginan atau bantuan yang ingin didapat dari sang anak.

 

Saat membaca ulasan tentang ini di buku parenting Abah Ihsan, serta merta saya teringat oleh apa yang biasa suami saya contohkan ke saya dan Qairina. Juga ingat saat saya biasa berteriak untuk memanggil Qairina. Kedua cara itu memang menghasilkan hasil yang berbeda. Berteriak, menyuruh, atau mengomel-ngomel itu tidak efektif.

 

Ini udah saya alami berkali-kali. Misalnya, saat saya sekadar menyuruh Qairina membereskan mainan, dia tidak menurut. Tapi saat saya ikut bermain bersamanya, lalu saya mengajaknya membereskan mainan bersama-sama dia akan dengan senang hati melakukannya.

 

Kaki dulu, baru mulut.

 

Ini menjadi satu hal yang saya ingat betul sekarang ini. Dekati dulu anak kita, kalo dia sedang bermain ikut lah bermain dulu, kalo dia lagi belajar/baca buku, mengobrol atau berdiskusi lah dulu. Baru setelah itu meminta anak makan, tidur, atau hal lain.

 

Ini juga ternyata bisa bangeet diterapkan ke suami/istri. Saat istri lagi butuh bantuan suami sementara suami lagi asyik main gadget atau nonton tv misalnya, dekati dulu sang suami, pijit-pijit sebentar, atau cium pipinya, baru utarakan mau minta tolong apa.

 

Saat suami minta tolong atau minta dimasakin sesuatu, dekati dulu sang istri, peluk dari belakang, cium pipinya, baru minta tolong. Atau kalo merasa itu terlalu lebay (soalnya yang nulis suka yang romantis2), ya minimal dekati dulu istri/suaminya, senyumin, bicara yang lembut, baru minta tolong.

 

Keluarga itu adalah tempat pertama-tama anak belajar adab dan kasih sayang. Maka, mari berilah sebaik-baik keteladan mulai dari menjaga komunikasi yang efektif yang penuh cinta.

 

Ingat yaa, pak, bu, kaki dulu, baru mulut. Insyaallah bermanfaat